


The Pimp Suit

by torigates



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates





	The Pimp Suit

Ted felt that he really should have known better.

When Barney showed up at his door in a white fur coat, large rimmed orange hat, with a feather sticking out the end and a purple umbrella, he could only gape.

“Is that a parasol?” He asked.

“No!” Barney exclaimed, looking extremely offended. “It’s an umbrella! A very manly umbrella!”

“Well it looks like a parasol to me.”

“Ted, focus! Forget about the umbrella, we’re getting off topic.”

“And what topic might that be?”

“Pimp suit up!”

“Barney, how is this going to get us girls?” Ted asked. “And I mean the kind we don’t have to pay for,” he continued when Barney opened his mouth to respond.

“Ted,” Barney said, shaking his head in disgust. “Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted. Have I taught you nothing?”

“Thankfully.”

“This isn’t to get girls, my naïve friend. It’s just cause it looks _awesome_.”

“You mean you look like that without even the possibility of sex?”

“Of _course_ , there’s the possibility of sex, you idiot.” He sighed. “I really have taught you nothing.”

“Thankfully.”

“No, my friend. I’m dressed like this for Candy-”

“Hooker?”

“No, actually.”

“Nice.” They high fived.

“She just happens to have a pimp fetish. And a friend. It’s gonna be legend- wait for it-”

“I really don’t need to wait for it.”

“-ary. You in?” He asked.

When Ted considered that it was either go out in public with Barney dressed like a pimp, or spend another night alone listening to Marshall and Lily celebrate the honeymoon stage of their marriage, the choice wasn’t actually that difficult to make.

“Fine,” he agreed. “But if you think you’re getting me into a fur coat, you’re seriously delusional.”

Ted wished he had reconsidered later that night, after he and Barney had been thrown out of Candy’s apartment somewhere in the middle of Queens. In the rain.

“If you had pimp suited up, I might have shared my umbrella with you,” Barney said.

Ted just glared. But he had to admit, it _was_ legendary. 


End file.
